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about smartcookie

i write about what goes on in my life. i write about things i think are funny. i write nonsense. i write about bodily functions.

i have a boyfriend/husband named nathan who loves video games. we get along great. about 7% of the time. any percentage greater is purely a curious statistical anomaly.
aww i love nate!

and as our story progresses, you may wonder who i'm talking about.

aside from courageous nathan, our main characters include:
oh. and i teach dance and like accounting. the end.

people i read

oh joy
seth godin
not martha
ikea hacker
ad goodness
oh happy day
design sponge
steamy kitchen
a softer world
the superficial
go fug yourself
marmaduke explained

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July 2012
counter statistics

Tuesday, July 31, 2007
baby beluga in the the deep blue sea

ughhhh i have been having awful stomach aches lately. they are so awfullllll. i just want to mope around and whinnnneeeee. i have no idea why the stomachache gods are punishing me. maybe because i have a steady diet* of cereal and mint chocolate chip ice cream, but i doubt it. stupid stomachache gods.

a little background on the story: i teach 3 & 4 year olds dance and we sometimes learn songs to go with the dance. this week we were learning "baby baluga" and i assumed most of the girls wouldn't know what a 'beluga' was, so we were starting off a discussion about whales.

me: "does anyone know what a whale is?" (expecting 'lives in the ocean', 'is big', 'swims', etc)
little girl: "a mammal?"

my internship is about to be over - next thursday (aug. 9th) is it! this is the part where they decide whether they liked me enough to invite me back (aka job offer), so its kind of scary. but not really. because i don't want to do anything with my life and would probably be secretly happy if i didn't get hired anywhere. then i could lounge around and be all like 'it's not my fault no one will hire me!'

* is 'steady diet' an oxymoron?

Cait* 3:51 PM link it! 0 comments

Saturday, July 28, 2007
ob-la-di, ob-la-da

um, so i've been kind of forgetful lately. i mean, normally i'm what most people would call "absent-minded", so a little bit of forgetfulness is normal. the kind where you go into the kitchen and then realize you have no idea why you went in there to begin with. that's pretty normal. but lately my forgetfulness has reached new levels of ridiculousness.

so for the past two weeks, there's been a funny smell in our kitchen near the dishwasher/sink/oven area. kind of a rotting garbage, something died somewhere, flesh-rot smell. i went away for one of those weeks and forgot about it, but my dad went insane trying to figure out where the horrific smell was coming from while i was away. he ended up thinking that it was the sinks, since the dishwasher's been backing up and he thought some of the rank dishwater has been pooling somewhere in the pipes. he sprayed everything w/chlorox and that solved (masked) the smell for a while.

last night i was in my room and i heard him doing the sniff test thing where he walks around sniffing loudly to signify he can smell something and i should come out and identify/clean whatever he can smell because he doesn't want to look for it. i dismissed it as he's going senile and ignored him. until i heard 'what the hell?!'

apparently (well not apparently, actually), i had left a once-frozen, now-mush, lasagna in the oven for about two and half weeks. we don't use our oven in the summer because it's too hot, but i had wanted lasagna and had started to defrost it in the oven for a bit and then i guess i got distracted. the lasagna had molded into a black mush and the smell was enough to melt flesh*.

as a result, we got to use the cleaning cycle (the one where your oven burns itself for hours and you get to use the lock on the front) of the oven for the first time.


2007 -

2003 -

aside from the poor quality of the bottom picture, making it seem like it was taking mid-80s, only FOUR years passed between the bottom and the top and i'm pretty sure jeremy looks like he went from fifteen to thirty-seven. no wonder when he attended my dance show, the guy next to him asked if his SON was dancing in the show.

*i just like using the word flesh today.

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Cait* 1:43 PM link it! 0 comments

Tuesday, July 24, 2007
making excuses

hello again internet.. it's been awhile, hasn't it?

among working non-stop, i've been all about town, including shipping off to buffalo for the weekend for meg's wedding... which was lovely.


1. awesome rubber ducky

2. even more awesome advertisement for car insurance (looks much better when viewed large).

so that's really all the links i found.. i really am being lazy. but at least i'm saying something. here's another picture from meg's wedding to hold you over:

the end.

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Cait* 11:27 PM link it! 0 comments

Saturday, July 07, 2007
i won't push you in front of oncoming trains, but only because there was a sign about it.

i know i've been into links lately..deal with it. so here are a few more. what the heck - why not, right? this entry's link are all photo-related from my browsing on flickr.

1. support group for me and my cat (sasha, not sara's kitty). while its pretty lame that i look at these pictures and find them (on accident), i'm pretty sure i'm not to the point where i have to leave creepy comments on cat pictures like "lol, Snookie! Aren't you excited!! Hehe, HFF!". wtf does HFF mean?

2. 'airborne' kitty photography. because cats are funnier when they're pressed against glass. and when they defy gravity. and, if you're nate, when they're defying gravity because he threw them.

3. non-cat related group called "stick figures in peril". this one is possibly my favorite

the caption reads: "Please don't push strangers in front of oncoming trains"

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Cait* 4:14 PM link it! 0 comments

Wednesday, July 04, 2007
contemplating wedding gifts

c: maybe we should get them a live animal
c: a ferret?
n: just drop it off in a box wrapped up on the gift table
n: hoping it gets out
n: do not really get a ferret
n: i do not like them at all
n: and will be very upset if you get one


Cait* 1:51 PM link it! 0 comments

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

to November 2003:

"me: so how was your thanksgiving?
her: it was interesting.
me: interesting, eh?
her: yea, my cousin shaved her eyebrow off.
me: what?! how old is she?
her: 8.
me: wait, she just shaved it off?
her: yeah, i guess she was curious and just took a razor and zzzip.. (make appropriate motions) off it went.
me: and this was during thanksgiving?
her: desserts.
me: that is interesting.
her: yeah we were watching tv and everyone kept looking at her and her mom was like, "honey look at me (pause) WHAT DID YOU DO TO YOUR FACE?!" the little girl started crying.
me: wow.
her: she has a twin sister and we kept making jokes that now we can tell them apart, but she kept crying. she was like, "i'm not going to school like this" and her mom was like "oh yes you are"

good times.

Cait* 11:42 PM link it! 0 comments

Monday, July 02, 2007
a few links short of 4

> did you know - today (and every monday in july) is FREE DONUT DAY (!) at dunkin donuts. via OhMyThatsAwesome

> and also, these cards rock (NSFW).


Cait* 3:33 PM link it! 0 comments

Sunday, July 01, 2007
are those links in your pocket or..

1. why kissing is good for you.

"A Kiss is good for work. German physicians and psychologists have concluded that those who kiss their spouse each morning miss less work because of illness than those who do not. Those who kiss also have fewer auto accidents on the way to work, earn 20 to 30 percent more monthly and live approximately five years longer. Dr. Arthur Sazbo, one of the German psychologists, says the reason behind the good fortune is those who have a morning kiss begin the day with a positive attitude."

2. eight ways to become famous (without killing someone)

3. the coolest piggy bank i've ever seen

"This new piggy bank keeps tabs on how regularly you put money in it—if you ditch your saving duties for too long, it "explodes" and disperses your hard-earned cash all over the place."

4. i want these at my (not happening for a few years) wedding


Cait* 11:43 PM link it! 0 comments

spam i am

woohoo! hundredth post! i should celebrate by doing something... like writing a new entry!

so did i mention how my dad buys food as if six people lived in our house? and that would be six people who eat like him, not like me, because i hate potato salad and he brought home a GALLON of potato salad. so he's obviously not buying it for me. seriously, the container was so big that we had to put it in the cellar fridge because it wouldn't fit in our regular one.

i call it the Sam's Club Syndrome because he's sucked into the belief that buying in bulk is actually saving money in the long run. sure maybe if you're buying paper towels or something that we'd use! but if we wouldn't eat that much in the first place, wtf, its just a waste of money and food! and with my new anti-consumerism outlook*, i want to kill him! and unfortunatley, SCS carries over to other stores - for example, he went to dunkin donuts because i (stupidly) asked him to grab a few (meaning 3-5) donuts for this morning and he comes home with TWENTY-FOUR. are we having company? no. are we feeding poor children? no. are we going to waste delicious donuts? yes. ugh i feel so awful.

btw, if you need canned olives, peas or mushrooms, just leave a note and i can bring you at least five cans. if not thousands. cake mixes anyone? how about spam? because we have spam, boy, do we have spam. no one even eats spam - nate and i tried to make a spam/pasta dinner because we had nothing left to eat but spam, ziti and sauce and it was disgusting. if pasta can't solve spam, i don't think there's a way to eat it. ban spam.

so i woke up the other day and saw THIS outside my window:
there's a turkey outside my window!

wtf, turkey? why are you early morning snacking by my window? after tramping all over the tomato plants, the turkey then decided to fight with its turkey friends and be loud and wake me up. stupid turkeys.

*didn't know you know, green is the new black? i'm too eco-sexy for your non-hybrid car.


Cait* 1:27 PM link it! 0 comments

last couple weeks, a review

since jeremy whined that i haven't been posting lately, here is a new post (just for you my far away jew!). but since i don't actually feel like writing, this will be a pictorial post.

1. made sangria:

actually, my dad has this thing where if i like something we have for dinner, he goes out and buys thirty pounds of it next week because i liked it this week. for example, we had sangria one night and i casually mentioned i enjoyed it... so this week we have 30 lemons, oranges, apples and limes and about 40 gallons of wine. i don't like it that much dad. really.

2. went to visit nate
we went to malcolm's grad party and stuff. and in other news...


we're pretty sure stella is the cutest cat ever. she's awesome.

4. i went cliff jumping.. check that off the list of things to do once in a lifetime and never again.

that's all. more later. with actual WORDS. since jeremy's a WRITER and everything, i'm sure he expects WORDS and SENTENCES. sorry.

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Cait* 1:06 PM link it! 0 comments