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about smartcookie

i write about what goes on in my life. i write about things i think are funny. i write nonsense. i write about bodily functions.

i have a boyfriend/husband named nathan who loves video games. we get along great. about 7% of the time. any percentage greater is purely a curious statistical anomaly.
aww i love nate!

and as our story progresses, you may wonder who i'm talking about.

aside from courageous nathan, our main characters include:
oh. and i teach dance and like accounting. the end.

people i read

oh joy
seth godin
not martha
ikea hacker
ad goodness
oh happy day
design sponge
steamy kitchen
a softer world
the superficial
go fug yourself
marmaduke explained

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counter statistics

Monday, September 25, 2006
i have sold my soul to the wendy's corporation

so there's this new thing i started doing. it's called eat everything in the house until you a) run out of food, b) have a prior obligation (although class is starting to not count) or c) fall asleep.

so yeah, i eat alot. in fact, at 10:48pm, i am STILL eating. i think i am having withdrawal symptoms from not dancing.

oh i hear you, miss "what is she talking about, dance is not something useful or worth missing" debbie downer. well, i'm not kidding. and i will prove it to you.

1. E: water; C: water - ok, i need water too. that one can stay the same.
2. E: protein; C: frosty (Wendy's. preferably with fries. but only if they're just made fries. no skanky old fries.)
3. E: carbs; C: carbs oliveG - ok, i can't survive without olive garden, so lets just rename this to the "oliveG nutrient"**
4. E: fats; C: chocolate
5. E: minerals; C: dance (minerals are not necessary. what are they anyway - rocks?)
6. E: vitamins; C: some form of cheese

there. there are my essential nutrients. as you can see, dance is the 5th one. and i am clearly trying to make up for it by consuming mass quanitites of other nutrients. silly body, calm the fk down. alright good bye, my laptop is staring to look delicious.

*gah, i am such a dweeb. i can't let a simple fun list go by without making a disclaimer that yes, i took nutrition and therefore know that the list is more or less a list of essential items, but whatever. get over it. get get get get get over it.

**ali g?

Cait* 11:06 PM link it! 0 comments

Friday, September 22, 2006
can't touch this

Cait* 12:47 PM link it! 0 comments

Saturday, September 16, 2006
cait cait bo bait banana fana fo fait

well that didn't take long.

last friday was the first skipped class for the year (HR) and this week = one skipped class as well (finance). WOOHOO! LET THE GAMES BEGIN!

so what's new? well, yesterday, we had our welcome pledges meeting at undisclosed secret fraternity location (aka: south lake) and shirley and i got to pronounce everyone's names. sounds like fun right? well, you're wrong as usual.

this will probably get me in trouble, but i can not pronounce anyone who does not have a 'plain' name. and i even had trouble with 'normal' names. ok - how do you pronounce "kevonne"? apparently its not kevin. and the girl who stood up was like, "its ka-von" and then proceeded to vaporize me with her laser-shooting eyes.

but that was an easy one. let's try xiao-mei. or qiaofei. or xzn. that's right, THREE CONSONANTS. honestly - i was so embarrassed because i did either 1) try to pronounce the name as it would sound in english, rendering me 'ignorant'-sounding, but at least i could blame it on my cultural ignorance, or 2) sound like i'm making fun of the asian/indian/etc (i didn't discriminate my name-butchering) culture by trying to pronounce it correctly. ugh.

i feel bad for professors.

i'm going to name my kid something horribly mispronounceable like hpi-gness (pronounced penis). and then laugh as they spend years in therapy.

Cait* 12:25 AM link it! 0 comments

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

word of the day: redacted

Cait* 12:54 AM link it! 0 comments

Friday, September 01, 2006

i was considering titling this entry "last first week of school", but i wrote penis instead.

so anyway, it is the first week of school and i've done well considering my usual style:
> i only overslept twice, but didn't miss classes or anything because of it (and by the way, oversleeping means like 8am or 9:30am - LAME)
> i've attended all my classes
> i've done the reading

that last one sums it up pretty well. who reads at college?! like NO ONE. and now i do. its like i like my classes or something.

I'm taking: (on MWF) Federal & State Taxes (so much fun! i volunteered today!), Human Resources (aka: read the spectrum), Business Law (scary), Advanced Corporate Finance*... then on Tues/Thurs we have Audit and Assurance services followed by my only dance class, Dance History. Not much for dance, which sucks. i couldn't even audition which REally sucks (really with a capital RE just BECAUSE). but enough whining, i have to go to my last class for today. (aka scary law)

*ok so why am i taking Adv. finance if i can't even understand "intro to finance"? where is my intermediate finance class. or finance for dummies class?

and p.s. - our football team is UNDEFEATED! anyone else as excited as i am?? GOOO BULLLLLS!

Cait* 12:21 PM link it! 0 comments