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about smartcookie

i write about what goes on in my life. i write about things i think are funny. i write nonsense. i write about bodily functions.

i have a boyfriend/husband named nathan who loves video games. we get along great. about 7% of the time. any percentage greater is purely a curious statistical anomaly.
aww i love nate!

and as our story progresses, you may wonder who i'm talking about.

aside from courageous nathan, our main characters include:
oh. and i teach dance and like accounting. the end.

people i read

oh joy
seth godin
not martha
ikea hacker
ad goodness
oh happy day
design sponge
steamy kitchen
a softer world
the superficial
go fug yourself
marmaduke explained

January 2006
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counter statistics

Thursday, March 30, 2006
sig fig pig dig big wig

i thought that the last post needed to be updated some.. more like i needed to explain my use of "weiner-jew". although the explanation of it is kind of worse than using it i think.

well nate and i were either watching "ashley parker angel" (or whatever that pathetic show of that kid who was in o-town--nate knows all the lyrics i might add) OR "meet the barkers" on mtv late one night. i think jeremy was there too, but anyone with jewbs kind of blend into the background. i think it was meet the barkers.

in any case, the bitchy woman in the show (both of them were pregnant - coincidence? is mr. barker getting around? cause someone with the names ashley AND angel cannot own a penis.) was making plans for a surprise party for her significant other* (now i'm pretty sure it was ashley parker fker show cause they were all like "ohh his favorite colors are red and black--let's decorate" and anyone who was in blink-182 is too cool to have favorite colors) and (can you follow this horribly constructed run-on sentence?!) was calling people to invite and she was calling one person:
"so, like, you'll be here at seven, cause we're totally having like the cutest party ever. i know ashley will be so happy to see you here since you two were in the band and now he has a tv show and you don't but its ok that you're even lower than some guy named ash--whaaaa? you're not coming? whyyyyyy! but he'll be soooo upset! hey! hello? weiner.


ok so that was a long story and it would've been much better short. just like all of my sentences. i suck.

*does anyone remember sig figs? ooh or "mole day"?! yay for high school** chemistry.

**although now i've offended those college students who still have to use sig figs. bahahaha stupid real major-ed people. can you imagine dancers needed to use sig figs? "heya sue, i would say that your turn sequence needs to be rounded up to about 20." ok i can't even make up a funny analogy so pretend that i did. stupid chemists.

Cait* 8:36 PM link it! 0 comments

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

sabres game tonight in celebration of weiner-jew's birthday!!

a little poem for tonight:
nathan wishes his favorite team (the sabres)
would move to middle road and be his neighbors.
i hope i get to sit next to him tonight;
we'll scream "punch him in the throat" when there's a fight!

p.s. - "weiner-jew" is actually an endearing term. know it. love it. use it.

Cait* 3:04 PM link it! 0 comments

Saturday, March 25, 2006

since i needed to tell someone, and nate wasn't in the mood at 7am to hear me babble, here is my creepy dream.

first off, i was home for the summer and i "discovered" that jeremy and his parents had a summer home on my road (beaver rd. for those who didn't know.). which is weird enough, that's like saying "oh, we're vacationing in the rural suburbs for july.. looking forward to the sound of the nearby highway."

anyway, so jeremy was going back to school for his internship and his dad was taking him, so i got to spend some time with mrs. burton, who was harvesting grapes to make her own wine. and if that's not weird, i threw in that she also took care of stray cats. i think i mixed her up with tressa.

ok. so i was sitting there, not really wanting to help harvest and this three-legged cat (see below) came up and she was like, "oh, i'll keep this one, what should we call him?" and i just blurted out "DRUMSTICK!" like it was the most hilarious thing ever and mrs. burton got very serious and said, "cait, we don't make fun of people with disablilities."

Cait* 1:23 PM link it! 0 comments

Monday, March 20, 2006
just conversation

whoa its cait: dan just dropped some flowers off for megan
whoa its cait: just because
canuck: hmph
canuck: i dropped something in the bathroom just because
whoa its cait: never mind
whoa its cait: every kiss from you is like a bouquet of flowers anyway
canuck: ugh
canuck: every line like that is like ipecac

Cait* 5:00 PM link it! 0 comments

Monday, March 13, 2006
honors, schmonors

and you thought that Spring Break would equal no posts cause I have limited computer access!!

well, so did i. but luckily i have been able to steal a few minutes away from my dad's computer in order to share with you my favorite sign moment of the weekend (besides my girls* competiting in a dance competition and looking beautiful!!!):

i kid you not, USE HONOR SYSTEM is the greatest line ever. and not only was it mentioned on this sign, but it was posted everywhere on the little parking place.
so did we pay?


*my girls does not mean i have children, it simply means i love my dancers and they did great!

Cait* 3:48 PM link it! 0 comments

Thursday, March 09, 2006

i was always warned against blogging drunk. actually no one specifically warned me, but i think its just not a good idea. right now, i'm at the Spectrum, revelling in my victory against all the boys at flip cup.

so it was boys v. girls and we were down 2 to 4 and we lost and then it was me v. 4 boys and I WON AFTER DRINKING SEVEN FKING CUPS. then it was me v. 3 boys and I WON again drinking SEVEN GOD AWFUL CUPS. THEN it was me v. nate and steve, and.... I ROCKED THEM. meaning the total of 21 cups. so far.

so now its me v. nate. everyone's shouting, GO GO ! GO ! GO! and stuff and sara was thebest coach ever, even though she thought i was being mean, i wasn't and I WON. yeah I FKING WON AGAINST NATE for a total of TWENTY-EIGHT CUPS!!!

then there was all this controversy and they said i knocked some cup down, but i flipped that cup twice and won fair and square. and now i am a legend at scotts.

and now i am at the spectrum and i am so surprised with my dexterity and amazing ability to type because when i look at nate, i can't see him and now some FKING GIRL IS FLIRTING WITH HIM. KILL HER. NOW!!!!!!!!!!

ok brb.

Cait* 11:56 PM link it! 2 comments

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Cait* 8:40 PM link it! 0 comments

Tuesday, March 07, 2006
meet elmer

meet elmer, the drain monster:

i met him the other day. he lives in nate's shower drain and only comes out to play once in a while. if you're not nice to elmer, he will eat your toes. or put your clean towel in the really dirty sink. whichever you prefer.

here is a picture of him during the day:

Cait* 4:30 PM link it! 0 comments

Sunday, March 05, 2006
from: governors, to: nate

i'm not even going to touch this one:

oh dear

Cait* 12:28 AM link it! 0 comments