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about smartcookie
i write about what goes on in my life. i write about things i think are funny. i write nonsense. i write about bodily functions.
i have a boyfriend/husband named nathan who loves video games. we get along great. about 7% of the time. any percentage greater is purely a curious statistical anomaly.
and as our story progresses, you may wonder who i'm talking about.
aside from courageous nathan, our main characters include:
jeremy (ex-roommate.. now scranton-ite)
megan (married one and my once upon a time roommate)
sara (bf 4-eva, aka SPIFE)
hohl (eternally confusing chewing someone out with eating someone out)
oh. and i teach dance and like accounting. the end.
i am a good proof-reader. i like to pay attention to grammar rules. which is why i am in the facebook group "i judge you when you use poor grammar."
tonight was sort of slow, so i was browsing the photos and i had to share two unbelievable ones.
1. check before you tattoo yourself. ask a friend. ask your tattoo artist. please. added challenge: name that buffalo-originated musical artist!
2. the back story on this photo: this was ordered for a going-away party at an office. the office worker called the cake place (wal-mart) and told them they wanted the following message: "Best Wishes Suzanne, and underneath that, we will miss you".
2. False pictures and posts to trick your 13-yr-old daughter's friend into thinking a cute boy likes her? Check!
3. Spread false rumors to the community about your daughter’s friend after the friend had enough being treated like shit and ended their teenage friendship? Check!
4. Full knowledge that your daughter's friend is mentally unstable and on mind altering drugs for this problem? Check!
5. Telling your daughter's friend to go kill herself after ruining her reputation and using the fake account to do it? The fake account of the only boy who liked her? Check!
Thursday, November 15, 2007
cat = garbage no longer
lately the cat has been smelling like garbage. possibly because she tipped over the garbage and ate whatever she found.
so today i washed the cat. stella was surprisingly agreeable and let me blow dry her after. such a weird cat. i would have taken pictures if my hands weren't full of wet cat.
SHAMELESS PROMOTIONS if you're in the buffalo area, come see buffalo contemporary dance tomorrow @ 8pm, sunday @ 2pm or next weekend, same times. if you prefer theater, come see city of angels @ UB (nov. 14-18) - i am responsible for the thunder noises in the 2nd act. so it will sort of be like i'm there. and if you want even more dance - come see me dance in zodiaque studio ensemble nov. 29-dec. 2. <<>>
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
day seven. happy wednesday.
so it hasn't even been a whole week and i'm already b*tching. this upcoming week is going to be pretty busy due to various commitments, dance things, etc, but i will do my best to keep my post-a-day commitment. forgive me if they are short.
if you're in the western ny area and want to see me dance, i am performing this weekend and next with buffalo contemporary dance. one of our professors is in the company, so she is showcasing her choreography with the other dancers. pretty exciting. if you like dance and stuff.
and since all that was overly serious, here is something for you to think about: the phrase "Polterwang". brought to you by the girls over at gofugyourself.
Monday, November 05, 2007
that's what i want for xmas.... part 2 (calendar edition)
i have a feeling this "segment" of my blog will be never ending until dec. 25 (then called "that's what i want for my bday?"). perhaps i should be less subtle. NATE. I WANT THESE THINGS. HINT HINT. HINT.
1. plantable, bio-degradable, calendar from botanical paperworks. how cool is that?? after each month is over, you get to plant the little calendar and wildflowers grow! or in my case, nothing grows because of my black thumb. but the concept is really cool.
unfortunately, i already had a desk calendar (non-biodegradable and therefore much less cool) picked out for 2008... instant back-up christmas gift! here is the letterpress calendar by ilee i am in love with:biodegradable v. handmade letterpress with sparkley spider web for October.... such a tough call.
STOCKHOLM (AFP) - A man in Sweden who was angry with his daughter's husband has been charged with libel for telling the FBI that the son-in-law had links to al-Qaeda, Swedish media reported on Friday. The man, who admitted sending the email, said he did not think the US authorities would stupid enough to believe him.
MOSCOW (AFP) - Russia's ruling party is trying to lure voters in upcoming elections with free bottles of vodka and other gifts, campaigners from two non-governmental groups said in Moscow on Wednesday.
LONDON (AP) - Employees at Britain's TravelLodge chain are learning how to deal with nude sleepwalkers. A study by the chain found that there were more than 400 cases of nocturnal strolling in the past year, almost all men. TravelLodge is telling staff to keep a supply of towels nearby to help guests keep their dignity.
SYDNEY (AFP) - Politician Matt Price is on a three-week bus tour through New South Wales, where he is running for governor. The tour has been a calamity from day one, when the tour bus ran down a wallaby in front of cameras. Since then, Price has run out of gas, broken his leg, gotten food poisoning during a press event, and on one morning, gotten dressed with the window shade up.
SYDNEY (AFP) - An aggressive crocodile was "arrested" and spent a night behind bars in a remote Australian police station after lunging at a group of fishermen, media reported Friday. The recreational anglers were hauling their boat up a ramp at the Nhulunbuy Yacht Club late on Thursday afternoon when the crocodile "had a go at them", the national AAP news agency reported.
TRENTON - In January, the Garden State warned hunters and residents near a toxic waste dump in Ringwood in North Jersey to limit their consumption of squirrel after the feds thought they found lead in a dead squirrel. Officials now say it was a false alarm.
ok now i remember what i wanted to post about, but its not as interesting as i originally thought.
so instead i will post about the delicious breakfast nate and i had this morning:
german oven pancake (jaden's steamy kitchen) well i'm not sure why the whole word "german" didn't link, but whatever. man oven pancakes. ger.
i made some apple / pear / syrupy thing to put over it and it was delicious. mmmm. (ger)man oven pancake.
and if you're wondering about the title, "electric punt returner" is one of the phrases the monday night football announcers would NOT stop saying. and i was reminded by mimismartypants. and it irks me too. electric punt returner. electric pun returner. wtf. as she says, "Maybe that Fox NFL robot is on special teams and could be the elect(ronic) punt returner. He is totally limber and ready. Hey coach! Put the robot in!"
Saturday, November 03, 2007
that's what i want for xmas.... part 1
so yesterday i had all this stuff i wanted to write about, but told myself: "you have a whole month of posts to fill up, wait until tomorrow." and now what? oh yeah, i can't remember any of it!! grrr...
i guess i'll just throw up* some pictures of stuff i want. cause that's good. and interesting. and not boring (you see what i did there - i used sarcasm). the new trend is "buy homemade", so i will exclusively post from etsy.
STUFF I WANT FROM ETSY (xmas, new year's, chanukah (however you spell it), etc) 4. clutch from AnnushKa
2. pretty much anything from modern art everyday, but especially the winter tree prints
1. address file
ok last item is not from etsy, but its not from a real store either - its from grey's anatomy. i want this headboard and bed:
i think its in kristina / old burke / callie?'s apartment, but i love that its like a couch. but its a bed. so awesome.
i forgot that November is NaBloPoMo. luckily i posted yesterday! but now i am an official member:
anyway, all this means is that i will be posting once a day for the month (if i make it). should be interesting. and by interesting, i mean horribly boring as things like crutches on the sidewalk don't happen everyday. my life isn't THAT exciting. but enjoy the ride.
and if you want to see what other people are writing about, click below for a random member of NaBloPoMo:
today is blog action day, so i am reminding you that shutting off your computer for a few hours will not be the end of the world. in fact - it will probably help the world.
A LIST OF THINGS I AM DOING TO HELP THE ENVIRONMENT
not turning the heat on in our apartment yet. it is like zero degrees in here. i have five layers on right now. not even an exaggeration (leotard, tank top, long sleeve shirt, furry sweatshirt, coat).
using those sweet re-usable shopping bags from wegman's. which, by the way, can hold a ton more groceries than plastic bags.
growing tomato plants.
driving my dad's hybrid because he stole my car.
A LIST OF THINGS I PROBABLY SHOULDN'T BE DOING
driving 4 hours to albany to get my bike (to ride to and from s. campus... right) and then not taking it out of my car for 3 months. then driving it home again.
living a million miles from campus. (negated by hybrid car-use)
keep promising myself that i will buy those squiggly lightbulbs and then forgetting and buying the regular ones.
so i look like my mom by a billion % more then kenzilla. quel surprise.
something i bet you didn't know:
nate looks like rob reiner (whoever that is, thank you wikipedia) and i look like angelina jolie. these results make me slightly more suspicious of myheritage.com.
2. even more awesome advertisement for car insurance (looks much better when viewed large).
so that's really all the links i found.. i really am being lazy. but at least i'm saying something. here's another picture from meg's wedding to hold you over:
Saturday, July 07, 2007
i won't push you in front of oncoming trains, but only because there was a sign about it.
i know i've been into links lately..deal with it. so here are a few more. what the heck - why not, right? this entry's link are all photo-related from my browsing on flickr.
1. support group for me and my cat (sasha, not sara's kitty). while its pretty lame that i look at these pictures and find them (on accident), i'm pretty sure i'm not to the point where i have to leave creepy comments on cat pictures like "lol, Snookie! Aren't you excited!! Hehe, HFF!". wtf does HFF mean?
2. 'airborne' kitty photography. because cats are funnier when they're pressed against glass. and when they defy gravity. and, if you're nate, when they're defying gravity because he threw them.
3. non-cat related group called "stick figures in peril". this one is possibly my favorite
the caption reads: "Please don't push strangers in front of oncoming trains"
"A Kiss is good for work. German physicians and psychologists have concluded that those who kiss their spouse each morning miss less work because of illness than those who do not. Those who kiss also have fewer auto accidents on the way to work, earn 20 to 30 percent more monthly and live approximately five years longer. Dr. Arthur Sazbo, one of the German psychologists, says the reason behind the good fortune is those who have a morning kiss begin the day with a positive attitude."
"This new piggy bank keeps tabs on how regularly you put money in it—if you ditch your saving duties for too long, it "explodes" and disperses your hard-earned cash all over the place."
4. i want these at my (not happening for a few years) wedding
only $10!! so cheap!! and so pretty!! and conveniently giving me a legit reason to need more dangly earrings to hang on it.
how cool is that?? after each month is over, you get to plant the little calendar and wildflowers grow! or in my case, nothing grows because of my black thumb. but the concept is really cool.
biodegradable v. handmade letterpress with sparkley spider web for October.... such a tough call.
2. pretty much anything from modern art everyday, but especially the winter tree prints
i think its in kristina / old burke / callie?'s apartment, but i love that its like a couch. but its a bed. so awesome.
1. awesome rubber ducky
the end.
