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about smartcookie

i write about what goes on in my life. i write about things i think are funny. i write nonsense. i write about bodily functions.

i have a boyfriend/husband named nathan who loves video games. we get along great. about 7% of the time. any percentage greater is purely a curious statistical anomaly.
aww i love nate!

and as our story progresses, you may wonder who i'm talking about.

aside from courageous nathan, our main characters include:
oh. and i teach dance and like accounting. the end.

people i read

oh joy
seth godin
not martha
ikea hacker
ad goodness
oh happy day
design sponge
steamy kitchen
a softer world
the superficial
go fug yourself
marmaduke explained

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counter statistics

Sunday, July 01, 2007
spam i am

woohoo! hundredth post! i should celebrate by doing something... like writing a new entry!

so did i mention how my dad buys food as if six people lived in our house? and that would be six people who eat like him, not like me, because i hate potato salad and he brought home a GALLON of potato salad. so he's obviously not buying it for me. seriously, the container was so big that we had to put it in the cellar fridge because it wouldn't fit in our regular one.

i call it the Sam's Club Syndrome because he's sucked into the belief that buying in bulk is actually saving money in the long run. sure maybe if you're buying paper towels or something that we'd use! but if we wouldn't eat that much in the first place, wtf, its just a waste of money and food! and with my new anti-consumerism outlook*, i want to kill him! and unfortunatley, SCS carries over to other stores - for example, he went to dunkin donuts because i (stupidly) asked him to grab a few (meaning 3-5) donuts for this morning and he comes home with TWENTY-FOUR. are we having company? no. are we feeding poor children? no. are we going to waste delicious donuts? yes. ugh i feel so awful.

btw, if you need canned olives, peas or mushrooms, just leave a note and i can bring you at least five cans. if not thousands. cake mixes anyone? how about spam? because we have spam, boy, do we have spam. no one even eats spam - nate and i tried to make a spam/pasta dinner because we had nothing left to eat but spam, ziti and sauce and it was disgusting. if pasta can't solve spam, i don't think there's a way to eat it. ban spam.

so i woke up the other day and saw THIS outside my window:
there's a turkey outside my window!

wtf, turkey? why are you early morning snacking by my window? after tramping all over the tomato plants, the turkey then decided to fight with its turkey friends and be loud and wake me up. stupid turkeys.

*didn't know you know, green is the new black? i'm too eco-sexy for your non-hybrid car.


Cait* 1:27 PM link it! 0 comments