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about smartcookie
i write about what goes on in my life. i write about things i think are funny. i write nonsense. i write about bodily functions.
i have a boyfriend/husband named nathan who loves video games. we get along great. about 7% of the time. any percentage greater is purely a curious statistical anomaly.
and as our story progresses, you may wonder who i'm talking about.
aside from courageous nathan, our main characters include:
jeremy (ex-roommate.. now scranton-ite)
megan (married one and my once upon a time roommate)
sara (bf 4-eva, aka SPIFE)
hohl (eternally confusing chewing someone out with eating someone out)
oh. and i teach dance and like accounting. the end.
no more posts of random links found at the last minute. no more pointless entries for the sake of just having a daily entry. it was tough, but we got through it.
good thing the prizes aren't based on good content.
Cait*
10:52 PM link it!
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Wednesday, November 28, 2007
i am writing this so i don't have to think about it tomorrow
links again! so creative! i mean, if you really want to hear all about my exciting day of swing class, ballet and rehearsal i can -- oh, what's that? links are fine? well then.
a softer world. a web comic? art? something that's cynnical and twisted.
i hope everyone's thanksgiving was good! i had a good break, but while driving to and from home, i had plenty of time to observe some really bad drivers. and i have decided that my number one pet driving peeve is people who brake FOR NO REASON whatsoever. oh wait i know why you are randomly braking - its one of two reason: 1) you are SO impatient that you must drive on the BUMPER of the person in front of you. so when they slow down you have to brake to avoid causing an accident. great job. way to drive defensively. OR 2) you are just fking stupid. i hate you. kill yourself.*
LINKAGES my favorite new artist on myspace (listen to the first song).
*i am not encouraging suicide. just don't drive. ever.
Cait*
10:07 PM link it!
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Saturday, November 24, 2007
nablo oh no!!
squeaking in at the last minute. this still counts, right?
Cait*
11:58 PM link it!
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Friday, November 23, 2007
black friday = bye bye $$$$
so today my plan was to sleep in (check), eat leftovers (check), and buy nothing (...).
but... the sales... clearance... ahhhhhh cannot resist!!!
but at least i didn't leave my house. (does that make it worse?) i succumbed to the need to buy sale items and bought some stuff at aeropostale.com - they have a 50% off sale and some really good other sales. and i bought stuff for other people, so it wasn't entirely a loss. plus how cute are these flats? totally worth it.
Cait*
4:32 PM link it!
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if you do nothing else to get into the christmas spirit, you must visit elfyourself.com and send a friend some cheer.
Cait*
5:18 PM link it!
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Tuesday, November 20, 2007
buying time
i'm leaving for home tomorrow and will be gone for the rest of the week. i am going to have to put "nablopomo" on my hand in permanent marker to remember to do it!!
Cait*
11:04 PM link it!
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Monday, November 19, 2007
talking about the weather
me: ITS SNOWINGGGGGGGG!!!!! theboyfriend: not here theboyfriend: liar me: it totally just snowed me: well it's barely flaking me: but it's totally snowing theboyfriend: sure you're not seeing you white hair in front of your face? me: OMG I FOUND ANOTHER ONE YESTERDAY theboyfriend: [enter meltdown sequence] me: i didn't pull it out cause i wanted to show you theboyfriend: you lie theboyfriend: you kept it to look distinguished me: eww theboyfriend: i bet its pollinating its whiteness all over your head me: yeah i told you if i pulled it out it would hatch all of its friends me: i should have never pulled that one out me: i am going to go grey overnight me: will you still love me? ... me: i'll take that as a no me: 3 minutes is plenty of time to respond theboyfriend: haha
Cait*
12:03 PM link it!
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i am a good proof-reader. i like to pay attention to grammar rules. which is why i am in the facebook group "i judge you when you use poor grammar."
tonight was sort of slow, so i was browsing the photos and i had to share two unbelievable ones.
1. check before you tattoo yourself. ask a friend. ask your tattoo artist. please. added challenge: name that buffalo-originated musical artist!
2. the back story on this photo: this was ordered for a going-away party at an office. the office worker called the cake place (wal-mart) and told them they wanted the following message: "Best Wishes Suzanne, and underneath that, we will miss you".
Friday, November 16, 2007
weird things seen while driving
this is my response to dooey and rachel's entries about weird things they saw on the road. while its definitely not as cool as giant tires or whole houses, it is two mattresses (or perhaps one mattress and a box spring) atop a SUV*, held on only by the gentlemen's arms who were inside.
look again:
notice the arm. there was one on the other side and they were driving about 25 mph. which still seemed a bit ridiculous as buffalo can get pretty windy. what would happen if a gust of wind got under the front of the mattresses? hence why i was driving along side.
* grammar check: "a SUV" sounds funny - should it be "an SUV"? i should ask grammar girl.
2. False pictures and posts to trick your 13-yr-old daughter's friend into thinking a cute boy likes her? Check!
3. Spread false rumors to the community about your daughter’s friend after the friend had enough being treated like shit and ended their teenage friendship? Check!
4. Full knowledge that your daughter's friend is mentally unstable and on mind altering drugs for this problem? Check!
5. Telling your daughter's friend to go kill herself after ruining her reputation and using the fake account to do it? The fake account of the only boy who liked her? Check!
Thursday, November 15, 2007
cat = garbage no longer
lately the cat has been smelling like garbage. possibly because she tipped over the garbage and ate whatever she found.
so today i washed the cat. stella was surprisingly agreeable and let me blow dry her after. such a weird cat. i would have taken pictures if my hands weren't full of wet cat.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
my google search history is special.
A LIST OF RECENTLY GOOGLED ITEMS (AND/OR PHRASES) + grey hair + wigs near 14214 + toupee clips + "how big is a fat quarter?" + phantom wang + marshmellow guns + free trees + "do your nose and ears stop growing?" + funny smell coming from oven + squirrels safe to eat again + wrong!
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
a short list of irrational worries
so if my brain were a computer, let's say a PC (even though i'm totally a mac girl), and you hit ctrl-alt-delete to see what programs were using the most memory or ram or whatever, my background worry program would be off the charts. this program would be one of those ones that runs in the background and has no purpose other than to suck up memory and such. my worrying is basically a virus in my brain.
so maybe writing some of them down will make them seem silly and i will stop? probably not. here goes anyway:
A SHORT LIST OF IRRATIONAL WORRIES + that i will lose control of my motor functions while my foot is on the brake and hit the pedestrians crossing the street at a red light. + that the one grey hair i found today has many friends ready to hatch and one day i will go prematurely grey. + that the cat's newest behavior is a result of the diet that she's on (see video below).
so, among other pointless things i worry about so often, my newest worry is my eating pattern. i mean, i eat the same thing for breakfast, lunch and dinner for days, usually until i run out of whatever it is that i'm stuck on. is that what other people who only cook for themselves do? if i made different meals every night, i'd have too many leftovers.
but don't you think that's just a little weird? that for every day for the past two weeks, i have had rice crispies with raspberries for breakfast and then some combination of tomato soup, a banana, yogurt, banana bread, celery, and grilled cheese (or bread and butter) for lunch / dinner?
before that it was oatmeal, chili and pumpkin bread. at least i'm seasonal.
i made banana bread the other day. and then took pictures. so that i could write about it. in my blog.
banana bread 3 over-ripe bananas* (mostly brown) 1/3 cup butter, softened 3/4 cup sugar 2 eggs 1 tsp. vanilla 3/4 cup whole wheat flour 3/4 cup white flour 1 tsp. baking powder 1/2 tsp. cinnamon pinch of salt 3/4 cup pecans, chopped (optional)
*most recipes i saw called for 3 or 4 ripe bananas, but i only had 2, so i added 1/2 cup of applesauce, which made the bread really moist and still tasted alot of bananas.
mash bananas to lumpy consistency. add butter, sugar, eggs and vanilla. stir until mostly mixed. add dry ingredients (sift if you wish) and blend. do not overmix so much that there are no banana lumps. [nut note: if you want nuts in your bread, add them now. i just sprinkled them on top because i was indecisive about whether i would like them or not]
spoon into greased loaf pan and bake for 55-60 minutes at 350 F. enjoy! i like mine toasted in the morning w/butter.
and then it snowed. and not nice fluffy snow. ugly cold sleet snow.
flickr has a cool new way of tagging photos (well its probably not new) - geotagging! so now if you want to see all my photos from school, you just click on the map!
pretty exciting, huh? and slightly creepy? right now i have it set so that my photos don't show up in general browsing, just if i link to them. but if you didn't set the privacy levels, i think this would be a really creepy way for stalkers / burglers / etc. to invade your privacy. but for now, its cool.
SHAMELESS PROMOTIONS if you're in the buffalo area, come see buffalo contemporary dance tomorrow @ 8pm, sunday @ 2pm or next weekend, same times. if you prefer theater, come see city of angels @ UB (nov. 14-18) - i am responsible for the thunder noises in the 2nd act. so it will sort of be like i'm there. and if you want even more dance - come see me dance in zodiaque studio ensemble nov. 29-dec. 2. <<>>
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
day seven. happy wednesday.
so it hasn't even been a whole week and i'm already b*tching. this upcoming week is going to be pretty busy due to various commitments, dance things, etc, but i will do my best to keep my post-a-day commitment. forgive me if they are short.
if you're in the western ny area and want to see me dance, i am performing this weekend and next with buffalo contemporary dance. one of our professors is in the company, so she is showcasing her choreography with the other dancers. pretty exciting. if you like dance and stuff.
and since all that was overly serious, here is something for you to think about: the phrase "Polterwang". brought to you by the girls over at gofugyourself.
Monday, November 05, 2007
that's what i want for xmas.... part 2 (calendar edition)
i have a feeling this "segment" of my blog will be never ending until dec. 25 (then called "that's what i want for my bday?"). perhaps i should be less subtle. NATE. I WANT THESE THINGS. HINT HINT. HINT.
1. plantable, bio-degradable, calendar from botanical paperworks. how cool is that?? after each month is over, you get to plant the little calendar and wildflowers grow! or in my case, nothing grows because of my black thumb. but the concept is really cool.
unfortunately, i already had a desk calendar (non-biodegradable and therefore much less cool) picked out for 2008... instant back-up christmas gift! here is the letterpress calendar by ilee i am in love with:biodegradable v. handmade letterpress with sparkley spider web for October.... such a tough call.
STOCKHOLM (AFP) - A man in Sweden who was angry with his daughter's husband has been charged with libel for telling the FBI that the son-in-law had links to al-Qaeda, Swedish media reported on Friday. The man, who admitted sending the email, said he did not think the US authorities would stupid enough to believe him.
MOSCOW (AFP) - Russia's ruling party is trying to lure voters in upcoming elections with free bottles of vodka and other gifts, campaigners from two non-governmental groups said in Moscow on Wednesday.
LONDON (AP) - Employees at Britain's TravelLodge chain are learning how to deal with nude sleepwalkers. A study by the chain found that there were more than 400 cases of nocturnal strolling in the past year, almost all men. TravelLodge is telling staff to keep a supply of towels nearby to help guests keep their dignity.
SYDNEY (AFP) - Politician Matt Price is on a three-week bus tour through New South Wales, where he is running for governor. The tour has been a calamity from day one, when the tour bus ran down a wallaby in front of cameras. Since then, Price has run out of gas, broken his leg, gotten food poisoning during a press event, and on one morning, gotten dressed with the window shade up.
SYDNEY (AFP) - An aggressive crocodile was "arrested" and spent a night behind bars in a remote Australian police station after lunging at a group of fishermen, media reported Friday. The recreational anglers were hauling their boat up a ramp at the Nhulunbuy Yacht Club late on Thursday afternoon when the crocodile "had a go at them", the national AAP news agency reported.
TRENTON - In January, the Garden State warned hunters and residents near a toxic waste dump in Ringwood in North Jersey to limit their consumption of squirrel after the feds thought they found lead in a dead squirrel. Officials now say it was a false alarm.
ok now i remember what i wanted to post about, but its not as interesting as i originally thought.
so instead i will post about the delicious breakfast nate and i had this morning:
german oven pancake (jaden's steamy kitchen) well i'm not sure why the whole word "german" didn't link, but whatever. man oven pancakes. ger.
i made some apple / pear / syrupy thing to put over it and it was delicious. mmmm. (ger)man oven pancake.
and if you're wondering about the title, "electric punt returner" is one of the phrases the monday night football announcers would NOT stop saying. and i was reminded by mimismartypants. and it irks me too. electric punt returner. electric pun returner. wtf. as she says, "Maybe that Fox NFL robot is on special teams and could be the elect(ronic) punt returner. He is totally limber and ready. Hey coach! Put the robot in!"
Saturday, November 03, 2007
that's what i want for xmas.... part 1
so yesterday i had all this stuff i wanted to write about, but told myself: "you have a whole month of posts to fill up, wait until tomorrow." and now what? oh yeah, i can't remember any of it!! grrr...
i guess i'll just throw up* some pictures of stuff i want. cause that's good. and interesting. and not boring (you see what i did there - i used sarcasm). the new trend is "buy homemade", so i will exclusively post from etsy.
STUFF I WANT FROM ETSY (xmas, new year's, chanukah (however you spell it), etc) 4. clutch from AnnushKa
2. pretty much anything from modern art everyday, but especially the winter tree prints
1. address file
ok last item is not from etsy, but its not from a real store either - its from grey's anatomy. i want this headboard and bed:
i think its in kristina / old burke / callie?'s apartment, but i love that its like a couch. but its a bed. so awesome.
i forgot that November is NaBloPoMo. luckily i posted yesterday! but now i am an official member:
anyway, all this means is that i will be posting once a day for the month (if i make it). should be interesting. and by interesting, i mean horribly boring as things like crutches on the sidewalk don't happen everyday. my life isn't THAT exciting. but enjoy the ride.
and if you want to see what other people are writing about, click below for a random member of NaBloPoMo:
no not the car. crutches. on the sidewalk. with no owner.
really, people of huntington? is this really how you want our fine road portrayed? and why are they outside of my house? as if i litter the street with large metal objects. was some poor kid with a broken leg abducted outside my house? was a miracle of sorts performed and the crutch-using owner was suddenly able to walk and cast down his crutches in triumph?
well they are gone now, but for a fleeting moment, my life made no sense.
totally worth it.
only $10!! so cheap!! and so pretty!! and conveniently giving me a legit reason to need more dangly earrings to hang on it.
how cool is that?? after each month is over, you get to plant the little calendar and wildflowers grow! or in my case, nothing grows because of my black thumb. but the concept is really cool.
biodegradable v. handmade letterpress with sparkley spider web for October.... such a tough call.
2. pretty much anything from modern art everyday, but especially the winter tree prints
i think its in kristina / old burke / callie?'s apartment, but i love that its like a couch. but its a bed. so awesome.
