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about smartcookie

i write about what goes on in my life. i write about things i think are funny. i write nonsense. i write about bodily functions.

i have a boyfriend/husband named nathan who loves video games. we get along great. about 7% of the time. any percentage greater is purely a curious statistical anomaly.
aww i love nate!

and as our story progresses, you may wonder who i'm talking about.

aside from courageous nathan, our main characters include:
oh. and i teach dance and like accounting. the end.



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BLTD
fussy
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oh joy
lifehack
cuteable
seth godin
not martha
ikea hacker
ad goodness
oh happy day
design sponge
steamy kitchen
a softer world
the superficial
go fug yourself
marmaduke explained





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Monday, June 19, 2006
mystery pooper

ok so at He who-Shan't-Be-Called (work), we have a fun new thriller.. the mystery pooper!

so as we all know, or as no one knows because i never update, my desk location at work is apropos to my title of 'intern'. i sit at the fringe of the business area, at the farthest distance from the window. however, the best (or worst) perk my desk has is that i sit directly next to the women's bathroom entrance (see wonderfully accurate drawing below).


so yeah that pink star is my desk and since i haven't exactly had a lot of work (read: nothing to do) lately, i've been having water-drinking contests with H (the other intern) and winning the contest just leads to a sense of urgency down below instead of a sense of victory. so what i'm trying to get at is that i pee alot.

what i'm really trying to get at is that lately, in the mornings and afternoons, there has been a closed stall from which no noise emerges from the moment i swing open the door until the moment i shut it. just some lady (hopefully) sitting there doing her business.*

until yesterday.

yesterday there was a distinct 'PLOP' followed by a faint gasp of post-plop embarrassment. the mystery pooper.

now you'd think that with my convienent ladies room locale, i'd have the mystery pooper all scoped** out. somehow, everytime they exit the bathroom, i'm doing work or not at my desk and i miss my opportunity to expose the m.p. but i will find out who you are, m.pooper. maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but certainly someday i will have the nerve to peek below the stall*** at your shoes and your secret will be out!

*doing her business in a business suit!! tee hee
**scooped! ahh the poop puns never end!
***does the fact that i'm admitting to wanting to look under a stall make me a lesbian? or just nosy? speaking of that, i have a story for next time. remind me.

Cait* 6:28 PM link it! 0 comments