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about smartcookie

i write about what goes on in my life. i write about things i think are funny. i write nonsense. i write about bodily functions.

i have a boyfriend/husband named nathan who loves video games. we get along great. about 7% of the time. any percentage greater is purely a curious statistical anomaly.
aww i love nate!

and as our story progresses, you may wonder who i'm talking about.

aside from courageous nathan, our main characters include:
oh. and i teach dance and like accounting. the end.

people i read

oh joy
seth godin
not martha
ikea hacker
ad goodness
oh happy day
design sponge
steamy kitchen
a softer world
the superficial
go fug yourself
marmaduke explained

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counter statistics

Tuesday, October 24, 2006
108D shenanigans

ben: whatever happened to bombing? i mean, really, when did bombing go out of style?


nate [whilst tying my scarf around his head]: i can't tie a damn turban. this must take so long... i would be so angry if i were those guys, i mean - i feel all dressed up and no where to go. wtf?!


visiting ben's female friend: wait, jeremy knows about girls?
nate: actually, he's quite partial to some guy smut.
cait: wait - i know where his stash is.
nate lifts armchair in living room to reveal the deck of cards with naked men on them*
nate: let's plaster his room with them!
visitor: put them in his books for a special surprise in class!
collective 'YEAH!'
nate places a few in the books, include one in the holy bible. a final one is about to be placed under jeremy's pillow.. but WAIT!
nate: there's already one here!? WHAT?! JEREMY! WHY is there the joker with his tie cock UNDER YOUR PILLOW!?
singing to jeremy: antoine quit playing, why don't you back that ass up
ben [studying his french 1 book]: la jupe
jeremy [incredulously, discovering the naked card placed in the bible]: its in the book of kings!
nate [in a god-like voice]: "and he said..."
ben [to nate, who is now placing the cards in the microwave]: dude, are you gonna put them in the microwave?!
nate: you dont think they're microwave safe?
nate [to ben's friend]: you're never coming back here are you?

end the insanity

*that's right, naked men cards exist in nate's apartment.

Cait* 1:29 AM link it! 0 comments