Saturday, December 15, 2007
cat + laptop = disaster
so this is what happened... (if the cat could talk)
cat: what are you doing?
me: making some ornaments.
c: can i see?
m: no. get down. there's nothing to see.
c: i want to see.
m: no. get down.
c: i'm coming up there.
m: GET DOWN.
c: i just want help. the paper pieces look tasty.
m: no you don't. [picks cat up off the table and places her on the ground]
c: ok. i'll just sit on the chair and watch.
m: whatever.[a few minutes go by. i get thirsty and get up to get a glass of water.]
m: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! GET OFF THE TABLE!!
c: i just thought you would prefer to have all the papers on the floor. and me on your laptop. IMing people on your buddy list you haven't talked to in years.
c: relax. i only sent the message "444444444444444aikkkkkkkkkkkkkkkcccc" to five people you haven't talked to since high school. not a big deal. i'm sure they read cat.[i pick up the fifty small pieces that have fallen to the floor and sign off of instant messenger. cat watches from arm chair with a smug look on her face.]fast forward to an hour later, ornaments complete.
c: what are you doing?
m: hanging ornaments on the fan. in the spirit of christmas.
c: they look like birds. they are invading our house. i must destroy them.
m: no. they are not related to you. they are decorative. look - they don't even move.
c: must. destroy. foreign. object.
m: get off the table.
c: need. to. be. closer. to. objects.
m: no, get down!
c: ugh, fine. iwilljustgetthemlater.
c: nothing.[cat retires to arm chair, never taking eyes off ornaments.]fast forward to middle of night.
m: what the...?
c: oh it's you. can you help me? i can't reach the flying objects. stand closer so i can use you to jump off of.
m: my laptop!!!!
c: oh that?
m: what did you do?!
c: it was in the way. as was the glass of water you left on the table. both needed to be destroyed. you're welcome.
m: you are so dead.
so that is how my laptop met a glass of water and is now non-functional. which is why i haven't posted in so long. and why i have new earmuffs made of cat.
6:48 PM link it!