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about smartcookie

i write about what goes on in my life. i write about things i think are funny. i write nonsense. i write about bodily functions.

i have a boyfriend/husband named nathan who loves video games. we get along great. about 7% of the time. any percentage greater is purely a curious statistical anomaly.
aww i love nate!

and as our story progresses, you may wonder who i'm talking about.

aside from courageous nathan, our main characters include:
oh. and i teach dance and like accounting. the end.

people i read

oh joy
seth godin
not martha
ikea hacker
ad goodness
oh happy day
design sponge
steamy kitchen
a softer world
the superficial
go fug yourself
marmaduke explained

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counter statistics

Monday, January 09, 2006
the v-word waaay too many times

ok well after i searched penis, i realized, hey it's a new year! why not search vagina too! ohh how naive of me. i expect things like old VHS copies of the vagina monologues, but instead i get THIS.

an artifical. vagina.


and the seller will apparently "through in a new baby bottle".

WTF!?!? my mouth hung open for about 5 minutes as i scrolled down in horror. 18 bids! now is this for another horse? ahh. 2006 is apparently the year my journal got x-rated. sorry to all you PG-13 readers. crazy canadians. well at least the seller "never got a chance to use it". good lord.

and then as if it were a bad accident, through horror-filled eyes, i went back to the vagina-searched list. and found THIS. subliminal vagina tightening CDs. with a unicorn on the cover. oh unicorns, have you sunk so low that you must represent wide-set vaginal women?

well if you are misfortunate to have a wide-set vagina (wow, this entry will forever be the most i utter the word vagina --there! again!), take this woman from virginia's advice: "I am ordering 2 for my friends at the office! The cd’s work on both my Windows & Mac operating system computers."

or roger's: "I am ordering more of your Subliminal CD’s for my 3 brothers. They will love them!"

Cait* 11:54 PM link it! 0 comments